January 29, 2010

oh my aching uterus...

most everyone knows it's no secret how badly i've wanted a little girl, and considering i have 3 crazy boys already, it shouldn't be a surprise. to tell you the truth when i found out at my 14wk ultrasound that Nolan was going to be my 3rd boy, my reaction was "son of a biscuit!" (okay, so biscuit is not what i really said, but you get the idea). don't get me wrong, i love my boys like crazy, and Nolan turned out to be the most easy going lovable dude out of the bunch. but even the day after Nolan was born i knew i wasn't "done"...i could feel it in my bones. granted we did take the steps to insure that i was not going to get pregnant again on my own, because heaven help me if i ended up with 3 more boys...

so, now that Nolan is almost 2, i've seen and heard of many friends having babies, all of which are girls! just yesterday my friend Michelle had a little girl and oh how my mind and uterus were aching. i'm beginning to wonder if it's just not in the cards for me to have my own little girl. yes, there are "ways" i can go about having a girl, but at this point those options just are not affordable. first of all i don't think i should have to "pay" to have a child, when i know how easy and free it is suppose to be, and second, we can't afford to pay for one anyway. we've looked into our options, but i'm not getting any younger, and something better happen soon or i might lose my mind (already half way there on that one).
i've tried keeping myself busy trying to pretty much ignore my aching uterus, but every time someone announces, "It's A Girl!", i cringe just a little because i'm reminded that i will never get to say that. yeah yeah you can feel sorry for me, but it doesn't help...ignoring it is much better, but ignoring it obviously doesn't make it go away.
now on to the other point of this post...yes, i said i try to find things to keep me busy, like going to the gym, cooking, cleaning (like a madwomen), but there's only so much of that i can do. well, my friend Jessica has found something to keep me occupied for at least the next 5 months (2 others, Jen and Ana, are also going to be making the journey with us- girls trip - HOLLA!). it worked 3 years ago, and funny enough i ended up getting pregnant right after...i'm training for another marathon. this time around (still with Team in Training - because they're awesome) i'm seriously considering trying the full on, whole shebang marathon. yes, that's 26.2 miles, but hey, why not?! so, if anyone wants to help encourage me...i'll take all that i can get...it will help me keep my mind off other things....

January 27, 2010

the one time this will be allowed...

i imagine in 15 years, when these two are teenagers, that we will break out this picture just for the absolute pleasure of torturing their fragile teenage souls. we will do this because i'm quite certain our parents did the same and i'm convinced that as parents our children were given to us as a gift, and by gift i mean years of free entertainment.

look at them all innocent and smiley...yep, in 15 years they will be torturing us with worry over driving, endless sporting events, acne, non-stop grocery shopping, and bitchy attitudes, but we'll always have this to remember...
(Nolan and his girlfriend, Eden)

January 25, 2010

why do i waste my time...

my hubby doesn't travel much, but when he does he's gone for a week here or a week there, which really messes with the schedule around the house. i honestly get way too lazy (will not post a picture of my disaster of a kitchen) when he's not around. i put the kids to bed and then i spend all my time either eating, watching tv, or doing this.
well, since hubby happens to be out of town now, i had planned on making a delish dinner for the kiddos and myself....AARGH! why make this:

(super delish Asian Noodle Salad)

when all my kids want to eat is this crap:

(sorry Betty Crocker - it may not be crap, but really, wouldn't you choose the other one?)

i'm not going to say i'm mad, because i might have spent all afternoon preparing the super easy dinner that they didn't eat, but i'm not mad...it just means more for me! so you can see my frustration with healthy eating when hubby is not around. i can't stand wasting my time cooking and cleaning when the stinkin rug rats don't even care! at what point do they start to really appreciate good cooking?


January 24, 2010

for the love of the south...

not sure what came over me, but i had a serious craving for some authentic gumbo yesterday. since we live in the middle of the "non-south" the only way i'm getting good gumbo is if i make it myself. granted it's not the best picture in the photo universe, but it's definitely the best tasting! so, for all my southern family and friends (and those who enjoy a good shrimp and sausage gumbo) here's to you, and i'm sorry you didn't get any...